Journal
My Journal
This is my journal and will update it when I can. And if I piss anyone off, oh well for this is my personal thing!
Wednesday Oct 11,00
Well, I have to work today. Go figure. Even though I haven't had that many days off since I started working there, I don't mind all that much. The place is great! It feels more like working with family, then co-workers. They are so close and care about how the others are doing. I was a little afraid about telling ppl about my condition with the bi-polor and such. But the are really understanding and seem to care about my health. The owners are very hands on. They help out when needed and also listen when you have a problem. They truely care about what goes on and want to see everyone happy. If you have a problem with you shifts they try there darnest to fix it so that it works out. They also are a lot of fun to talk to. They seem to be in a good mood most of the time, but just like everyone they have there bad days. Lord knows I know that feeling all to well. I might start serving more then just every once in a while. They just hired somebody who has no restuarant experiance and are gonna train him in as a host to start. Which mean some of my hosting shifts might be taken and then I would start serving. Granted that is what I wanted but I am still a little bit scared cos I have never really dealt with a full bar. I will have to learn all the drinks and such. But of cource I will it will just take time. I am no longer afaid and wanna clam up like I used to when going up to a table. And I also haven't had any major depression outbreaks. Sure I have a little bit, but that is to be expected. For everyone has some depression every now and again but it is no longer like it used to be. I feel like a new person in some aspect. Sure I am the same person(which scared me a bit cos I kinda defined myself by my depression for I grew used to it), but in many aspects better. I no haven't had a suicidal thought a while. I also have been looking at the good in stuff more now. And feel so much better about myself. I am starting to get a self-esteem, which is something that I have never really had. Well, it's time for me to get going for work calls. I will try and write something tommorrow.
Thursday Oct 12, 00
Well today was my day of so I really didn't do all that much. Walked up to the mall and bought a few thing, came back home and relaxed. I just wanted to relax for a change. The last 2 weeks have been kinda busy with work and all. It's nice to relax every now and again. I know that tommorrow will be a busy day. I have to work in the evening and also go out and play darts with some friends from denny's. So I don't think I will be able to write anything down tommorrow. Last night at work I got asked the question why I don't wanna be in a relationship. I gave them my usual answer but got me thinking. Maybe it is time to start dating again. Granted my past history with them isn't all that great, but still. It has been almost 5 yrs and what am I waiting for? My life is now starting to become stable enough that I could. I am no longer the same very moody person that I was a year ago. I don't think that I am as difficult to live with as before. So what is holding me back from start looking? I don't know, maybe because I am afaid of starting one again. It has been so long, can I really be a good b/f to somebody? Well only time will tell if I do start one. Maybe I will start looking. Well that is it folks, gonna end it here.
Saturday Oct. 14, 00
Just got off of work and now I am going back. They have no host for tonight so I am filling in. Wheeee. I went out and played darts last night, and had a blast. We played until about 1:30am(they let us stay longer). The we sat out in the parking lot for another half hour. I didn't get to sleep until almost 3am and had to be at work at 8am. So in other words I am a little bit tired, but oh well. Today at work was slow so I got to goof around a bit. The manager spilled french dressing all over himself and had to go home for a bit to change*weg*. Other then that I don't have much to say. I have put a lot of thought into why I am not in a relationship and have come to one conclusion. I can't right now, with the meds and starting a new job. It wouldn't be a good idea right now. But if the right person did come along(not that I am looking mind ya)I would go out with them. Well anyway, I think that's gonna do it. It's almost time to go back to work and I need to clean up a bit around here(place is a pig sty). Laterz
Monday Oct. 16, 00
Today I work, go figure. I didn't get a chance to write anything yesterday, but stuff happens. I made a whole 9 dollors during lunch, but then again it was slow and I had a smaller section cos I really haven't work as a server all that much. Yeah sure I have been working saturday mornings, but that is easy. Not to hard there cos of my Denny's experiance. I was suppose to train with somebody but, that fell though cos the person I was gonna train with had to expo. So I had to serve. Had 3 tables and made 9 dollors, which isn't that bad if ya think about it. Other then that my life is pretty good. I keep wanting to have a drink or something but I know that if I do, something bad could happen. Even one of my managers last night stopped me from getting one cos the bartender didn't know I couldn't drink and made a shot of something for me. I went into work last night to watch the football game(vikes vs. bears)and also see the last night of karoke. I had a good time but didn't leave there until 1am and had to be back to work at 10:45am. So I was a little tired this morning and didn't wanna get out of bed. But that's my own darn fault. Anyway, that's about it. Laterz
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